1) The three
worst things to hear in the cockpit: The second officer says, "Damn
it!" The first officer says, "I have an idea!" The captain says,
"Hey, watch this!"
2) In the Alaska
bush I'd rather have a two hour bladder and three hours of gas than vice versa.
3) Both
optimists and pessimists contribute to the society. The optimist invents the
aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.
4) "If
helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage/classic helicopter
fly-ins?" --- Anonymous
5) "Death
is just nature's way of telling you to watch your airspeed." ---Anonymous
6) "I never
liked riding in helicopters because there's a fair probability the bottom part
will get going around as fast as the top part." --- Lt.Col. John
Wittenborn, USAFR
7) Real planes
use only a single stick to fly. This is why bulldozers and helicopters -- in
that order -- need two.
8) You can't fly
forever without getting killed.
9) As a pilot
only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will:
a.
One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your
last flight in an airplane.
b.
One day you will walk out to the airplane not knowing that it is
your last flight in an airplane..
10) Any flight
over water in a single engine airplane will absolutely guarantee abnormal
engine noises and vibrations.
11) There are
Rules and there are Laws. The Rules are made by men who think that they know
better how to fly your airplane than you. Laws (of Physics) were made by the
Great One. You can, and sometimes should, suspend the Rules but you can never
suspend the Laws.
12) More about
Rules:
a.
The rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea
and the talent to execute it.
b.
If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance.
(e.g., If you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge.)
13) The ideal
pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness .
14) About check
rides:
a.
The only real objective of a check ride is to complete it and get
the bastard out of your airplane.
b.
It has never occurred to any flight examiner that the examinee
couldn't care less what the examiner's opinion of his flying ability really is.
15) The medical
profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession.
16) He who
demands everything his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he that demands one
iota more is a fool.
17) It is solely
the pilot's responsibility to never let any other thing touch his aircraft.
18) Night
flying:
a.
Remember that the airplane doesn't know that it's dark.
b.
On a clear, moonless night, never fly between the tanker's lights.
c.
There are certain aircraft sounds that can
only be heard at night.
d.
If you're going to night fly, it might as well be in the weather
so you can double count your exposure to both hazards.
e.
Night formation is really an endless series of near misses in
equilibrium with each other.
f.
You would have to pay a lot of money at a lot of amusement parks
and perhaps add a few drugs, to get the same blend of psychedelic sensations as
a single engine night weather flight.
19) One of the
most important skills a pilot must develop is the skill to ignore those things
that were designed by non-pilots to get the pilot's attention.
20) At the end
of the day, the controllers, operations supervisors, maintenance guys, weather
guessers, and birds; they're all trying to kill you and your job is to not let
them!
21) The concept
of "controlling" airspace with radar is just a form of FAA sarcasm
directed at pilots to see if they're gullible enough to swallow it.
22) Remember the
radio is only an electronic suggestion for the pilot. Sometimes the only way to
clear up a problem is to turn it off.
23) It is a
tacit, yet profound admission of the preeminence of flying in the hierarchy of
the human spirit, that those who seek to control aviators via threats always
threaten to take one's wings and not one's life.
24) Mastering
the prohibited maneuvers in the Operations Manual is one of the best forms of
aviation life insurance you can get.
25) One of the
beautiful things about a single-pilot aircraft is the quality of the social
experience. (True of single-seat aircraft also!)
26) The ultimate responsibility of the
pilot is to fulfill the dreams of the countless millions of earthbound
ancestors who could only stare skyward... and wish.
27) It is probably a good idea to remember that half the pilots out there are below average.